单身父母的理财建议3360为什么首先支付自己很重要

作为一个单亲家长，把自己放在孩子之前似乎是自私的，尤其是在经济上。以我作为财务教练的经验来看，当客户买不起孩子想要或需要的东西时，负罪感和焦虑感并不少见——或者他们有足够多的钱，并想为成为孩子家庭中唯一的父母而过度补偿。但是，尽管这听起来可能违反直觉，但作为单亲父母，首先支付自己实际上是你能为你的孩子做的更无私的事情之一——当你战略性地、持续地这样做的时候。

为什么呢？确保你自己的财务健康可以减轻孩子未来的潜在负担，这种负担来自于对年迈父母的经济照顾。也就是说，首先支付自己的想法并不是说你应该逃避育儿带来的其他经济责任；这只是意味着你优先为你自己的财务健康腾出空间——无论是现在还是未来。

CFEI的金融教练史蒂文斯塔克告诉家长们，他首先支付自己的费用，因为退休后没有奖学金、助学金或贷款。作为父母，我的目标是成为孩子们的援助和支持来源，而不是晚年的负担。

Related:单身妈妈相对单身爸爸：审视单身父母的双重标准即使你不打算过奢侈的退休生活，首先支付自己也可能是收支平衡或努力完成最基本的财务任务的区别。

"当小人物依靠你时，生活看起来会有很大不同，"金融健康促进者、播客《与一口金钱对话》的主持人蒂凡尼格兰特告诉《父母》。无论你做什么决定，无论是财务上的还是其他方面的，一定要把它们放在第一位。"你是你孩子的主要财务榜样，首先给自己付钱为他们以后发现自己处于你的位置树立了一个好榜样。"

021%2F11%2F02%2FGettyImages-1200276359-2000.jpg" alt="An image of a close-up of money in a pocket."> An image of a close-up of money in a pocket. Credit: Getty Images.

Ahead, the top four reasons experts say it's important to pay yourself first as a single parent—and tips to make those self-payments happen.

Retirement planning falls on you alone

As a single parent, retirement might be the furthest thing from your mind today—which makes it very easy to fall into the trap of trying to save what's left after spending, and ultimately ending up playing catch-up in your later years. As Stack shared, your lack of savings for yourself can eventually become a burden on your children, who likely will have to balance the responsibilities of their own retirement planning and child-rearing in addition to wanting to help their eventually-elderly parent. 

By establishing the discipline of paying yourself first, you can start tucking money away for your own future by saving before spending on expenses; both your and your children's future selves will thank you for being forward-thinking. A popular way to do this is using automation in your direct deposit to send a predetermined amount or percentage of your income into a separate account that is solely for this purpose.

• Related: I Was Drowning, So I Hired a Parenting Coach—and It's the Best Money I've Ever Spent

It creates boundaries and sets an example

As a single parent, the burden for you to fulfill the every need of your child may come at the expense of your personal happiness and fulfillment. I've worked with parents who simply don't feel like they can afford to invest in the things that make them happy because of their financial obligations, largely including childcare.

The act of paying yourself first not only establishes a financial boundary, but a mental one. It's one that says: You deserve to take care of yourself, too—even if only in order to be more present and equipped to care for your children. 

It also demonstrates a behavior that can be an early lesson in personal finance for your children, who will also benefit from being taught to pay themselves first. They will likely pick up behaviors they witness you exhibit; seeing you establish financial boundaries can jump-start their understanding of what those boundaries are, as well as how to establish their own. 

Your self-savings can help in the event of an emergency

A problem many single parents face is that supporting a household on a single income only increases the amount of financial pressure, compared to parents in dual-income households. According to MIT's Living Wage calculator data, single parents face the greatest struggle to make ends meet, and financial pressures vary by state; a single parent with just one child needs at least $62K to make it work in California.

So it's no surprise that added emergency expenses, if not properly planned for in advance, can interfere with said single parent's day-to-day budget—and can put additional stress on not only the single parent, but the children as well. Paying yourself first can ensure you build a healthy emergency fund in addition to retirement planning and recreational spending—all within a budget that also accounts for the recurring expenses needed to maintain the household (after money is set aside for you, that is). 

• Related: I'm the Sandwich Generation: Here's How I Care for My Toddler and Mom With Dementia

You can help pay for your child's education (if you want) 

After all of your financial boxes are checked off (i.e. emergency fund, retirement, etc.) you may want to aid your child in covering costs associated with higher education. Paying yourself first is the personal finance gift that keeps on giving; that is, if your savings earn you compound interest. Not all savings accounts pay interest on savings balances and those that do may pay a low rate.

Learning about ways to invest your savings in a way that aligns to your risk tolerance is something a financial planner or advisor can help you with. While it certainly isn't your responsibility or obligation to cover costs associated with college, it's a bonus to know you can help if you want to. 

Paying yourself first is an important part of discipline in managing your personal finances for anyone;  as a single parent, it's paramount. You want to have something to show for all your hard work, and the sacrifices you make for your children. Paying yourself first is the easiest and most effective way to achieve that.