在争夺家庭预算的过程中，爸爸建议妈妈停止购买配方奶粉，开始母乳喂养

为人父母会让你的优先事项发生变化。如果育儿在最后一刻失败，你可能需要跳过快乐时光计划——无子女婚礼请柬也是如此。孩子也要花钱——比你想象的要多NerdWallet 2017年的一项调查发现，仅在第一年抚养一个孩子的价格就在21248美元到51985美元之间，但近一半的父母预计成本会大大降低。

一对夫妇很难找到这两件事，这给他们的婚姻带来了一些问题。一位妈妈去Reddit发泄，得到一些建议。

"我是……养家糊口的人，有一个蹒跚学步的孩子和一个9个月大的婴儿，“AITA郊区的u/Throw_A3632ESD4说，她说自己是一位32岁的母亲。他们的需求永无止境，我买的东西都很贵。"我丈夫……失业了，但他用我的部分工资购买订阅/付费流媒体服务，这些服务在Hulu(高级版)、网飞、HBO、亚马逊、ESPN等地每月收费约80英镑。"

RELATED: 5种改善人际关系沟通的方法原创海报(执行部分)意识到她已经跳过了购买个人物品来支持家庭，每次她不得不购买一些必需品时都会感到内疚。她决定是时候和丈夫谈谈了，但进展不顺利。

妈妈一只手抱着婴儿，另一只手拿着奶瓶

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"I asked him to choose one channel, and he threw a fit calling me ridiculous to think streaming services are the reason I'm always short on money and blamed it on the 'expensive' and 'unnecessary'…I keep wasting money on," she continued. "I got angry and said he needed to respect that makeup is part of my personality and won't quit buying and wearing it."

The two kept going at it, with the husband accusing OP of trying to "financially control him," and her threatening to cancel all streaming services. And then there was this gem: "He suggested I stop buying formula and go back to breastfeeding since that is unnecessary and expensive," she said.

For some reason, "just breastfeed" is a default solution from non-lactating partners. A couple of years ago, a dad asked Reddit if he was wrong for refusing to split the cost of formula with his wife (Spoiler Alert: Yes.). Breastfeeding is hard, and conservative estimates put the time a person spends breastfeeding in the first year at 1,800 hours. Read: It's a job, and the person doesn't get paid or a day off.

• RELATED: Why Is It so Difficult For Couples, Including Parents, to Talk About Finances?

At the same time, the husband is also doing unpaid labor by staying at home with a child, though the OP edited her post to say she does most of the housework. The two couldn't really talk it over because the husband called OP controlling and stormed off. Now, she wants to know if she was in the wrong. Reddit was split.

"He's contributing nothing financially. You are NTA, and you can spend your hard-earned dollars however you like," wrote one commenter.

But others disagreed.

"In some areas, the financial contribution is child care. Where I live, for example, daycare can easily be over 50k a year—which is a full salary for some people…We need to do away with this line of thinking that stay-at-home parents do not provide financial benefit to their households. They do," pointed out another.

And other posters shared personal experiences of being the non-breadwinner.

"If he isn't going to contribute, he doesn't get a say. I'm saying this as a man whose wife is the breadwinner (though I do work). If she asked me to cancel any of my subscriptions, I would without hesitation if I knew she was struggling," said one person.

"My partner is the breadwinner…We both pay a proportional share of what we make towards bills/expenses & still have a little left for ourselves…We recently moved, and our rent increased…They told me I needed to cut back on unnecessary purchases/subscriptions, and I immediately did so. They cut back as well," said another.

• RELATED: A Nine-Month Plan for Getting Your Family's Finances in Order

Ultimately, different strategies will work for different families. But financial experts agree that parents often underestimate the costs of having kids. Some ways parents can trim their costs include:

• Use what you have. Buy what you use. Declutter your home to see what you already have and get rid of items you are not using. Make some notes as you go as to items you could have done without, and use this knowledge moving forward as you consider what to buy and what to skip.
• Buy secondhand. Kids go through clothes and toys quickly. If an item is one you feel will have a short shelf-life, like rattles or newborn-sized clothing, see if friends or family have it and if they are willing to give or loan it to you. You may even be able to start arranging a swap with other parents.
• Set a budget. Holidays and birthdays may cause you to splurge a bit. Setting a budget in advance can keep spending in check.
• Check daily expenses. Skipping daily Starbucks lattes or canceling subscription services won't solve the student loan crisis, but it may be able to help your family afford items like formula.

Discussions about finances are never fun, but ultimately, they're necessary when raising a family. The more open, honest, and respectful you can be with your partner, the better off everyone will be.