儿童书籍《加尔文》阐明了爱一个跨性别儿童的快乐和代表性的重要性

父母和作家凡妮莎和年少者福特想让你见见他们最新的宝宝，一本叫做《卡尔文》的书。这本儿童书是关于一个跨性别男孩的，他带我们踏上了成为他最真实的自己的旅程。卡尔文出生时被指定为女性，但他知道自己是男孩。"我不是女孩，"卡尔文告诉家人。"我是个男孩——我心中和脑中的男孩。"卡尔文的父母，一个白人母亲和一个黑人父亲，接受卡尔文的真实身份，并迅速肯定他，确保他有让他感觉最好的衣服、发型和名字。

这本书由凯拉哈伦(凯拉哈伦)插图，灵感来自福特家自己的跨性别孩子艾莉，她是六年前他们5岁时出生的。家人很清楚，卡尔文不是艾莉，他的故事也与他们的不一样；相反，这是艾莉故事的一部分，包含了许多跨性别儿童的故事。卡尔文也是关于接受和家庭的爱。

Parenting Is Hard, but Loving Our Kids Is Not

'支持你的跨性别孩子很简单。瓦妮莎福特告诉家长网："为人父母很复杂，但这不一定是最复杂的事情。"。

接受我们的跨性别儿童应该很容易，但理解和学习可能需要一些工作。凡妮莎承认，有一个跨性别的孩子确实会带来恐惧，有时还会带来困惑，但她很感激有越来越多的地方向监护人和他们的跨性别孩子提供支持。需要帮助也没关系。当艾莉在2015年四岁时过渡时，福特夫妇依靠那些知道他们正在经历什么的人。

RELATED:如何在你的社区支持变性儿童的父母瓦内萨说，从一开始，我们就去找其他变性儿童的父母。

虽然当时全国还没有很多知名的家庭，但像彼得杰克逊和珍妮特詹宁斯这样的父母是显而易见的，并且支持他们的变性孩子JR .和凡妮莎向人权运动伸出援手，寻找可以联系的家庭。通过这些联系

y have built a local and online community of parents with transgender children. Those spaces are where they can go to talk about advocating at school, navigating health care systems, and vent or ask questions about everyday life.

The Ford family. The Ford family. | Credit: Penguin Random House

Organizational support systems—like the Human Rights Campaign, National Center for Transgender Equality, and GLSEN—are invaluable resources, as are local and national conferences. "These [conferences] are opportunities for families and the community to come together and learn together from one another—we found those really empowering," says Vanessa. 

She also mentions that conferences are great for transgender kids and their siblings because they have a chance to connect and spend time in fun day camps. Siblings of transgender children are often the biggest allies in their families, but they can still express a sense of being left out. So much of a parent's focus is often on the needs, mental health, environment of a transgender child that the cisgender sibling can feel ignored at times.

"We wanted to make sure [older son] Ronnie was given attention because he was also part of the transition," JR says. He admitted that at times Ronnie expressed frustration that he wasn't getting the attention he wanted, but the family worked together to make sure both kids had the focus they needed and deserved. 

• RELATED: Transparenthood: Raising a Transgender Child

And while siblings can be very protective of their transgender siblings, the Fords are clear that it's important to know they are never responsible for their siblings. That responsibility is always on the parents or guardians. The Fords have taken that responsibility to also mean creating a positive narrative for Ellie. 

Vanessa and JR tend to stay away from talking about the sadness or scary parts about sending a transgender child into an unknown world because there is so much good to talk about too. "Be proud and joyful," says Vanessa. "What a gift this child is to your family, with the courageousness they have shown."

JR and Vanessa Ford with their book, Calvin. JR and Vanessa Ford with their book, Calvin. | Credit: Penguin Random House

Transgender Kids Need To See Themselves

The Ford family was deliberate when creating space between Ellie and the book's protagonist, Calvin, and received Ellie's consent regarding the book throughout the entire process. 

So many transgender kids are willing activists—and are often the best activists—but they're still kids who deserve autonomy and the ability to be just kids. "Ellie is an introvert. And everything we do that involves Ellie or advocacy and telling our story, we ask them what they feel about it," says Vanessa. "We knew a book titled Ellie with Ellie's story would not go over well." Separating Ellie from Calvin was important, but so was the need for Ellie to see themself in the book. 

• RELATED: 36 Gender Inclusive Books for Kids and Teens

Like Calvin, Ellie has a Black dad and white mother. The book is a much-needed example of transgender representation, but especially of transgender boys and transgender kids of color. "We wrote a book that we thought we [the community] were missing," says Vanessa.

In the early stages of planning Calvin there weren't many books that featured transgender boys or transgender kids of color. But now Vanessa says that Calvin is joining Aidan and Penelope who are transgender kids of color in the books When Aidan Became A Brother and The True Story of a Boy Named Penelope. The Fords welcome the company. 

"Race is something we have lightly started to touch on as our son gets older, because as he gets older, he will get closer to the social issues we as adults run into," says JR. For Ellie, though, while Ellie knows that harm does happen to transgender people of color, Vanessa and JR say it's a tough conversation to have with them. The Fords say they have protected Ellie from the statistics surrounding violence against transgender people, particularly transgender women of color.

While it's only been recently that JR and Vanessa have started conversations about the risks of being a transgender person of color, they have built a community of transgender folks who are thriving and supported because that is closer to Ellie's experience. They also continue to show Ellie transgender leaders of color to look up to. Vanessa and JR know those hard conversations will eventually happen though, which is why the joy and support shown in Calvin is so important. 

Calvin has gone from ideas and storyboards to bookshelves and is ready to be shared. When the book arrived and was finally tangible, JR said that it was a pivotal moment for Ellie. "They knew Calvin was real and they could relate to him. Ellie is very proud of Calvin."

Where there is pride and representation for many, there is also pushback. Calvin isn't on a list of banned books yet, but based on the trajectory of other books about transgender people or other LGBTQIA+ characters or themes, it might be soon. That possibility is exciting to the Fords.

"That means people are aware of it and it's getting out there," says JR. "So I say, 'Let's do it.'" Vanessa agrees.

"Bring it on," she says. "Some of the greatest books are banned books and we would be honored to be in that canon."